Man, this guy  looked so good today. Why is it that assholes are always so damn hot? Or maybe it's the other way around; they're assholes because they're hot. Either way it sucks. Sometimes he looks so good that I don't want him, I think I fucking want to be him, hahaha.

Yeah, so everyone's probably at afterparty right now. I don't know, parties just aren't really my thing. Plus, I think some of my friends would just be so dissapointed in me if I were to drink/smoke and etc. Then again, I don't particularly want to do any of those things with the people at my school so it's all good. Man, homecoming sucks. I don't mind school spirit, I just hate being dragged into it. Ok, I can understand if someone is annoyed with me for dragging their spirit down, but god damn don't get upset with me because I myself am not into it. Ha and Ms. Mendlow practically called me the Anti-Christ of homecoming.

But yeah, tonight I had fun with Arapaie. We went to Westwood and bought random stuff for Halloween. Then we were skateboarding in our costumes (I was wearing huge pink bunny ears and 50's style pink checkered glasses and Arapaie has this rad black cape and awesome batman gloves and a black rose) and I fell off the board and this homeless dude was laughing at me (haha Arapaie: bring it on bitch part II). I really wanted to go back to school and come to the dance dressed liked the grim reaper but of course that would have been a bad idea (though I would have loved to see the slutty girls squeal*).

I watched Win a Date with Tad Hamilton and part of Pretty Woman tonight becuase I have nothing better to do with my life. I normally don't watch those sorts of movies but I just feel sort of love-sicky. Not that there's a specific person in mind, I just wish there was someone. I think my problem is that I'm too picky. I don't usually like guys my age (I like guys older than me--as in like way older), and I like guys with problems. Lots of problems. It's wierd-- like there was this one guy but when I heard he was off drugs I didn't like him anymore. Actually that's happened more than once. How cruel is that? Jessie and Daniel say it's because I have my own problems so I feel comfortable around people with problems worse than mine.  I just don't know why I can't get a guy. If I at least knew what was wrong with me I could fix it. Sometimes I think I do know: it's because I'm just so weird. And if that's it, then it sucks because that's something I'll never be able to fix.

*note I don't hate sluts, just these.

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